Saturday, August 6, 2011

Laugh Over Spilled Milk

Today I thought it would be fun to take the girls to the official Girl Scout store in Roanoke.  That is about 90 minutes away from our house, but I figured that while we were in the neighborhood we could go to the Science Museum of Southwestern Virginia.  (Let me just start by saying that there is a reason I have not hyperlinked that for you.)

I call the GS Shop - open 10-4 on Saturdays.  I call the Museum - will it amuse a 3 year old ("Oh yes!).  So, the 8 year old, the 3 year old, Grandma Pat and I set off for Roanoke.  I put the GS Shop address into my GPS and we're off!

Halfway there I realize If I don't feed everyone before we hit Roanoke, they will be totally unruly.  So we stop at McDonald's.  This turns out to be the most crowded McDonald's this side of the Mason-Dixon.  Jeff would have shot himself in the head rather than get his meal there.  But since it's me and Grandma, I figure we can handle it.  I'm right, but before we're done, Alyson (yes, the 8 year old) spills her milk all over the booth, the floor, and [sigh] her sister.  It wouldn't have been so bad if she had a speedy bone in her body or maybe an innate sense that when something is spilled it must be cleaned up.  But no. 

Once we exit McDonald's, Alyson proudly proclaims that she has a chocolate milk pattern on her leg. 

Onward we proceed, following the Honda GPS faithfully, and wondering why it has seen fit to bring us through a rather seedy area, and questioning how the GS could maintain a headquarters and store in such a place. 

That's when we passed the lovely target on the map. 

That's when I wondered Did I put the address in right?

And that's when Kelly said, "I'm going to throw up."

"Okay honey, let me find a place to pull over.  Just a minute sweetheart.  No, Aly, we didn't pass the store.  No, this is not the right place.  Just a second, we'll stop and let Kelly get some fresh air.  I can check the map."  Car in Park, exit driver side, walk to rear passenger side, open door and....

Out it came...unbuckle...more...start to lift out...more...decide against...remove sneakers...console...tell Aly to fetch the "Yack Bag"...more..."Is that all, honey?"...more...lose all hope of saving clothes...more...realize we didn't bring extra clothes...admit such to Grandma...done.

Strip the child, break open the Yack Bag, clean the child, sanitize the child, pass panty-clad child to Grandma.  Clean car, contain car seat, contain clothes, and wonder two things:  where is the nearest Wal-Mart, and will I get a lovely summons from Roanoke's finest for having my 3 year old mostly naked and out of her car seat.  Decide that Kelly is getting a GS shirt and the cop will have to see the evidence (and inhale) before I will accept the summons.

Deep breath.

So, the GPS only showed me the road SW, and the GS Shop is on the road NW.  Not a big deal.  We will turn around and all will be well soon.  We trundle along, the neighborhood gradually gets less troublesome and ta-da!  There is the GS Shop.  We pull in and Grandma says, "Are you sure they're open?"  Of course I am.  I didn't trust the internet.  I CALLED.  The recording clearly said they were open 10-4 today.  We park and see the 8 1/2 x 11 paper on the door. 


This was one of those moments where you have to laugh or you will cry. 

From there we headed to the mall so Grandma could get something, we could get some clothes for poor naked Kelly, and we could cheer up the girls with the Science Museum.  Once Kelly was clothed (thank you JCPenney and VA Tax Free Holiday), we stopped at A.C.Moore for supplies for our upcoming knitting lesson.  Refreshed, we head to the museum.

Let me just say that a few snakes, a talking computer and an electrostatic ball do not a "museum" make.  The girls did have a good time though.  They ran from station to station trying to figure out what it did and if it was cool.  Where was the most time spent?  At a block exhibit.  That's right.  Blocks.

A couple more stores and then the pinnacle of the day...the three horse $1 carousel in the mall.  Yep, the one that plays a tune, spins for 3 minutes, and is designed to entertain 2 year olds.  The thrill of the day.  They rode three times.

We wrapped up the day with some great pizza on the way home and Grandma got what she needed.  So all was not lost.  It was a worthwhile, if eventful, trip.  And it got us away from the Fairly Oddparents for about 8 hours!!

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